I'm still not quite sure what I'm going to do after this trip, and can't seem to make any clear decisions on what next. I'm a planner by nature so I want to know what's happening, and, really, I need some answers. Being a sensible and rational kind of guy, I've taken matters into my own hands and done the logical thing: I've been to a Philippino fortune teller to find out my future.
The Philippines is a religious country, predominantly Catholic, and spiritualism has something of a stronghold. Faith healers, psychics, fortune tellers, and tribal shaman, all do a thriving trade, and are regularly consulted for advice on what colours to wear, what medicine to take, and whether or not to put a hundred pesos on 'Don't call me Derek' in the 3.30 at Chepstow. It's a country where people can be possessed by demons, a place where spirits wander and watch over. What we would call old fashioned superstition is alive, well, popular, and believed in these parts.
The Manila fortune tellers congregate in the square outside the Quiapo Church, and yesterday I made a visit to one of them to ask her to tell me about my future. Elvira, an old woman wearing a red bandana and with no upper front teeth, cheerfully told me that I might get married and within the next couple of years. If I do I will only marry once, and to a woman whose name begins with either a 'C' or an 'L'. My wife will have to be intelligent and educated for the marriage to work. If we choose to have children we will have two: a boy and a girl, although there is an outside chance I might father three. In business, I will be initially successful, and 2007 will be an especially good time (as long as I don't start a business abroad), but as I get older I will lose all my money and won't be wealthy in old age. The money will be brief and passing. I asked her if I would do more travel or live abroad in the future? She answered helpfully: 'you may, or you may not.' She also read my palm and told me I had a long life line (when is anyone ever told they have a short life line?), and that I was a kind and helpful person, but can have a bad streak. I must watch out for insecure people, they may be my downfall, and it may turn out to be my family who lose me all my money. Elvira thought it likely I would buy a car before long, and also told me to watch my cholesterol.
It's an eery feeling, knowing the rest of your life before it's happened, so to re-orientate myself I went for a wander around the Quiapo district. It's a poor and dirty area with a lot of traffic and a lot of garbage. I walked through and then on to the Malacanang Palace, which is the official residence of the President of the Philippines. I wanted to take a photograph but was told I wan't allowed by an armed guard. It's a large, modern, and uninspiring two storey building set in pretty gardens. The current resident is Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. She's been President since 2001 when she took over from President Joseph Estrada, a populist and former B-movie actor, who had to take a break in his term of office to go to jail (he'd been accepting massive sums of money from gambling cartels). Incidentally, the Malacanang Palace is where those shoes were found after Ferdinand and Imelda fled to Hawaii in 1986, their tyranny and gross personal extravagance finally exhausted.
Yesterday, I also booked a cheap flight from Boracay (my next but one location) to Cebu City (my final location), meaning all my travel links through the Philippines are now confirmed and in place. I toyed with the idea of another ferry ride down to Cebu but they take so long it would eat unreasonably into my remaining time. The flight only takes an hour, cost nothing, and will afford me more quality time in Cebu City...where I can keep my eye out for a woman whose name begins with a 'C' or an 'L.'
4 comments:
Hey Charlie,
There are millions of women the world over whose names do not begin with 'C' or 'L' that are feeling completely devastated right now...
Salima
Billions possibly. But who am I to argue with my destiny.
I think Elvira was suggesting that I could marry someone alphabetically challenged but the odds of divorce in such circumstances would be very, very high.
With world divorce rates sky rocketing people really should start checking their letters.
I've been giving this a lot of thought.
Do you think maybe there was something lost in translation and what she meant to say was that you would meet your future wife in a country whose name begins with the letters 'C' or 'L', i.e. Cambodia or Laos??
Didn't you mention something about a tax rebate some months ago??
Salima xxx
Too late for that now.
And you know it is actually illegal for foreigners to have relationships with Laos people. You can be sent to prison. So Cambodia would be a better bet.
Will go to Luxembourg, Chile, Liberia, and the Czech Republic ASAP just in case.
The toothless con-artist who read my fortune was pretty precise in everything, except her fee which ambiguously lept up through the roof after my fortune had been read.
Post a Comment