Imelda Marcos
I've booked a ticket south to Iloilo City on Panay. My ship leaves from the South Harbour on Tuesday at 4.15pm, and arrives at 7.30pm on Wednesday. I will stay overnight in Iloilo, and then next morning catch a bus up to Caticlan, and then island hop across to Boracay, home of one of the most famous beaches in the Philippines. I booked my ticket by telephone (it's been couriered). Whilst making my booking I asked if I got my own cabin, and was told I would have to share...
'So how many people will I be sharing with?'
'One hundred sir.'
'Sorry. One? Did you say one?'
'Yes. One hundred sir.'
'One - hun - dred?'
'Yes. One hundred.'
'Right.'
It was Saturday yesterday and I did what many Manilenos do of a Saturday; I went to the Robinsons Shopping Mall. Robinsons is one of many shopping malls in Manila, and very similar to places like Castle Mall in Norwich, or the O2 Centre on Finchley Road. There are TGI Fridays and Starbucks, and you can go to Macdonalds or a Jollibee for a burger if you're fed up of the jeans shops. But there are also differences, as I was reminded when entering the mall I was frisked for firearms. I was trying to find a cinema, so I could watch a Philippino film, but was disappointed to find that the Robinsons Cinema only really shows American films. I was told there might be a Philippino film, 'in about a month or so.'
On my way out another reminder that I was not in the UK: as I stepped off an escalator a pretty young woman walked up to me and said, 'hello, would you like to make love to me sir?' Men are notorious for their commitment issues, and I am no exception. I stood there wondering if one second had really been enough for the two of us before we entered into an enduring life partnership. I said 'no thank you,' and she tried to strengthen her case by telling me that it would take her ages to get back to her flat that afternoon if she couldn't move in with me at my hotel immediately. Nice ploy, but I'm afraid it was still no dice. I'm used to people on street corners asking me if I want 'boom boom,' but I've never been approached mid-morning in a family shopping mall before.
In the afternoon I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Manila which contains a large collection of pre-Hispanic gold. They also had on display a visiting exhibition of religious iconography from Russia which I was very impressed by. Most of the Philippino artworks were landscapes and rural scenes, typically painted a hundred or so years ago. For my tastes, they were rather bland and lacking in vibrancy. They looked like the kind of thing you would find in a deceased elderly relatives attic during their house clearance. 'Chuck it in the skip, I don't think Oxfam will want it.' At the entrance to the museum there is a sign saying, 'please deposit your firearms at reception before entering,' yet another reminder that in Manila there is a dangerous edge to all the fun.
In the evening I went to a nice first floor bar which looks out over the Remedios Circle, and was delighted when they fired up a karaoke machine, but equally disappointed when the singers who stepped up turned out to be really quite good. I also noticed that they have live bands on from time to time, and was very surprised to find that one of the up and coming acts was called 'Hardy Amies.' How a Philippino rock band came to be named after a Saville Row couturier, and official dressmaker to the Queen, I'll never know? Mind boggling. But then, as Michael Freeman once said, 'everyone should have their mind boggled at least once a day.'
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