scams and snorkels

There is a famous taxi driver scam in Thailand known as 'The Gem Scam.' Taxi drivers agree to take you to a desination, but then mid-route take you to a gem store, or perhaps a tailors, where sales people put the hard sell on you, and the taxi driver becomes reluctant to let you leave until you have bought something. In reward for bringing you to their store the sales people give the taxi driver a coupon with which he can buy petrol.

I was having some dinner on Wednesday night when a local taxi driver, Mr Lemon, came and sat with me, and asked me if I knew of this scam? I told him that I did. I was well aware of it. He said he didn't want to rip me off, but there was a gem shop around the corner, and he wondered whether I would be willing to spend ten minutes running down there, so that he could collect a petrol coupon and get some petrol. I would go in for two minutes, say how interesting everything looked, then say no thank you very much and leave. He would charge me nothing - of course - and run me back to the restaurant or my hotel without delay or messing about, whichever I preferred. It would really help him out, he said, but he would understand if I didn't fancy it.

I was at a bit of a loose end, and in a good mood, so I thought what the hell. The worst that could happen would be getting stuck in a shop for a bit. However, it all went to plan and he dropped me back, with a big smile on his face, at my hotel about 10 minutes later.

I really liked Mr Lemon, he was very chatty, and spoke excellent English, and we had an interesting talk in the car about a variety of things.

I wanted to talk more to him about life in Phuket, the effects of the Tsunami here, and all things Thai, so I asked him if he was free the following morning, and - if it would help him - whether he would like to raid a few more gem shops (they're everywhere), as long as the same rules applied i.e. it was accepted that I would buy nothing, and that I would spend no more than two to five minutes in each shop, and we didn't take too long.

Naturally, he was free, and this is what a Bury and a Lemon did. We took about 30 minutes, going to three or four shops, and netted quite a few litres of petrol in this time. What I got out of it was to chat to an interesting local, and ask all the questions that have been occuring to me over here. Didn't spend a penny and he was happy to talk.

Afterwards, I asked if I could buy him lunch, and he gave me more advice on where to go/avoid in Phuket and how to use the inexpensive public transport system - something which had been perplexing me. I really enjoyed meeting him, and he never once suggested that I should buy something. He also explained to me why he has never been to any of the beautiful islands here. He can't swim and he's scared of water.

Moving on. On Friday, I went for the day to Ko Phi Phi, where I did some sightseeing by boat (saw 'The Beach'), and then went snorkelling amongst coral reef; tropical fish darting all around me. It was cool seeing the kind of illuminous and brightly coloured fish you only ever normally see in small heated fish tanks actually swimming freely in the water, and on a couple of occasions getting nipped by them.

Spent the afternoon lying on the beautiful beach, sobered at times, by the thought that the entire resort town behind me had been utterly flattened by a tidal wave only a year and a half ago on that fateful Boxing Day. Apart from deliberate memorials there is no evidence of there having been a Tsumani here whatsoever. Everything is completely rebuilt.

At the end of the afternoon me and my surnburnt knees wandered back onto the boat home, and whiled away the time with an attractive Canadian called Shannon.