central thailand

Earlier today, as the driver of my bus pulled on to the hard shoulder (to over take three lorries), it occured to me that I've been neglecting the blog for the last few days, and that an entry is long over due. So here we go...

It's been a busy week and there's a lot to update. On Tuesday: I walked the streets of Bangkok and took in the National Assembly, the Zoo, and the Chitralada Royal Palace (home of the King of Thailand) amongst other things. Nothing of note really happened but I did enjoy wandering the streets in a 'wow I'm in Bangkok' type way. I also found some amazing food stalls to eat at which I had previously not discovered.

On Wednesday: I got up at 6am, and beat a passage to Damnoen Saduak, a couple of hours outside Bangkok, to see the famous floating market. The river and stilted wooden riverside buildings were quaint, and made me feel as though I had travelled backwards a hundred years through time. The place was, however, swamped with tourists and this spoilt the effect to an extent.

I floated around the market in a wooden boat with about four or five others, a lad paddling at the back. As we turned one corner a sales-woman latched on to me, wanting me to buy a Vietnamese hat. She kept on and on at me: 'I give you good price man,' and 'tell me your price.' Eventually I gave in and, much to the amusement of everyone else in the boat, typed in on her calculator my opening bid of 1 baht (0.0142095p).

This wasn't the best move.

She snatched it back, muttering what appeared to be an impressive buffet of Thai expletives. Her language was colourful, I'll give her that, although it did lose some volume as she kicked our boat away from hers.

(I apologised to her later for messing about when we paddled back that way).

I got back to Bangkok from the floating market in time to wander down to one of the piers on the Chao Phrayo River (the Bangkok 'Thames'), and catch a ferry up and down the river. Knackered after, I retired to the Chada Hotel, which for your information remains as hot as hell (not too hot for me though) and has satisfactory laundry facilities.

On Thursday: I spent the day at Kanchanaburi, site of the famous bridge over the river Kwai, built by prisoners of war under Japanese command. Or rather I spent the day at site of the reconstructed bridge over the River Kwai. The original was blown up by Allied Forces in 1944. I had a tour guide with me through the day.

Thailand, of course, used to be known as Siam, but in 1939 they decided to rename themselves Thailand, meaning 'free land,' in recognition of the fact that, unlike the rest of south east Asia, they had never been colonised or invaded by a foreign power. Straight after, and with impeccably poor timing the Japanese invaded, in order to push through their much needed transport links to Burma, and decided to use prisoners of war to complete the work.

We went first to the cemetary which is the last resting place of 6000 of the Commonwealth (British, Australian, Indian) and Dutch prisoners who died whilst constructing the 'Death Railway,' so called because a man died for every single wooden sleeper laid down - most of them several years younger than me I couldn't help but note. As with the other war graves I have seen, the cemetary was beautifully tended and had a wonderfully serene feel about it.

Then we went to the Jeath War Museum. All I will say about this is that they seemed to mean well. You know what that means.

We then went to the bridge itself. I walked right across it and back again. As you may gather, if there is a health and safety executive in Thailand - which I doubt - they certainly seem to have their feet well and truely up. Hence at the bridge there were no safety barriers, no hand rails, and no real floor either - you just had to clamber along the wooden sleepers, and rail track hoping you didn't plunge down into the deep blue yonder. Must admit I did feel a certain excitement clambering across.

And today. I've been several hours north of Bangkok to the former capital: Ayuthaya. And what an absorbing place it is. Ayuthaya was the capital from 1350 until 1767 when the Burmese invaded it, nicked all the treasures, burnt most of the place down, and forced the Thai government down to Bangkok, from which it never returned. I've seen more Buddha's and Wat's today than you've had hot dinners. For posterity, I visited amongst others: Phra Si Sanphet, Wihaan Pra Mongkhon Bophit, and Wat Phra Mahathat. Look them up on the Internet if you're having a slow day, or even easier: go to my photos section.

So finally: the following is a conversation I've had several times with Tuk Tuk drivers, and reveals a little about what is known about the British abroad...

The Scene: me walking down the street minding my own business. A Tuk Tuk driver approaches.

Tuk Tuk Driver: Hello man. Where you go?

Charlie: Just round the corner to my hotel.

Tuk Tuk Driver: You need Tuk Tuk?

Charlie: No thanks.

Tuk Tuk Driver: Eh man. Where you from?

Charlie: England.

* Pause *

Tuk Tuk Driver: Oh England!!! Luvverly jubberly, man!!!!

If you hear 'lovely jubbly' said by a Thai man, with a Thai accent, and it doesn't bring a smile to your face then - I'm sorry - but you're not human.